


Vart är mitt ljus?

by Loptr_Laufeyson



Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Character Death, Depression, Jotun!Loki, Loss, Suicide, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-21
Updated: 2013-02-21
Packaged: 2017-11-30 00:36:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/693342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loptr_Laufeyson/pseuds/Loptr_Laufeyson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Where is my Light?]<br/>Jag är ensam i mörkret<br/>Jag längtar efter att hitta henne<br/>Utan henne finns tomhet<br/>Jag följa rök spår<br/>Jag hoppas att vara bredvid henne igen</p>
<p>I'm alone in the dark<br/>I long to find her<br/>Without her there is emptiness<br/>I follow the smoke trail<br/>I hope to be next to her again</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vart är mitt ljus?

**Author's Note:**

> *Be aware, this short story is rated M for themes about depression leading to suicide. This may lead to triggers or upset certain audience members. The warnings are both in the tags and in these notes preceding the story. Please, if you are upset by these themes or ideas, do not read on.*
> 
> This was a prompt from Tumblr with the following perimeters:   
> *Drabble  
> *Sad  
> *Loki-Anon  
> *Suicide

The steamy water beings to shimmer into a red gleam as the blood seeps between the molecules; it’s heavier and slides along the bottom, but the deep color seeps into the body of the water, turning this dark blue sanctuary into a ghoulish crimson oculus. His breathing slows down now, a forced calm as his body fights to regenerate, but with his magic he forces the wounds to stay gaping, allowing the blood to flow from every major artery without impediment or clotting. He knew this day would come, he knew he would be unable to convince her… They had maintained a bond through the years, he had loved her as no other could and had kept her light within him, but she had refused Idunn’s gift as he suspected she would and he had prepared thus. Now, floating in what seemed like a never-ending expanse of water, he drifted in and out of consciousness, trying to find her in a sea of darkness just one last time.

Hours seemed to pass and slowly he felt as cold on the inside as he did on the outside. His Jotun form melting away, leaving behind a pale corpse bathed in the crimson like that of his former’s eyes. His eyes open and searched blankly: his hopes were shattered and his dreams were lost. Loki's green eyes looking up into the expanse of the universe in longing for what he could never have again. A single tear slipped down to add to the liquid below him, all around him. A single drop in the ocean. She had asked him once...told him that she was merely a drop in a sea of people. "What is one drop in a sea?" and he had told her: "If you feel that your prayer, your voice is only a drop in a sea then take into account that if the sea were as sensitive as I, it would feel every drop on the surface like a dancing shiver on its skin."

His tear raced across his cheek, but he was too weak to shiver now against the coldness settling in to his bones. With his last breathe he called her name and with no reply he closed his eyes, accepting the darkness, and drifting away. For when her light flickered and disappeared he had no more reason to keep gazing.


End file.
